My Friends ask me why I’m so involved in so many things at school, every lunch it seems like I’m a part of something. And it made me think of something one of my teachers talked to us about in class about with everything we do there is a reason to it. It girst starts off with the what, then the how and why. For example, your a math teacher, what you do is teach math, how you do it? You learn ways and teach it to your students, but why, why do you do it? The teacher who told us about this, says the last question sometimes is the hardest to figure out. Sure you can say it is because you love it but, is it only that or is there something more to it? The teacher who told us about that, said it took him, himself a while to figure that out. SO yeah.
I guess the reason why I join these groups at school is because I actually, so many groups just interest me. I love the feel like I’m a part of something. Even though at times it can get overwhelming, I’m gaining experience with working with others, and hoepfully breaking a bit out of my shell. I’m that type of person who observes the things around me, the people and what I see. I’m a dreamer, you can say and it is true, it’s just how I am.
Do you guys ever have those days where you just wonder your life is going to take you? Maybe your just on your way down to the hallway to your next class and it hits you and you can’t focus on anything else. You get excited, yet fearful of what is going to happen in your life because you don’t know whats going to happen. But I think it’s good not to know where you’ll end up, because it will be a surprise. I know, inside of me, I’m tottally freaking out as well. But I know it’s just how it goes. Whatever happens, happens.
Yesterday me and some friends and my school attended an asian symposium at our city’s local university. The outside of the school looks a lot like Hogwarts ( not that close but, just the older building). The day started off pretty great. It was really thrilling to learn about the history of asians in Canada and how we’ve done. As the symposium was going along and we heard some panelist, speak, it really made me consider taking Asian Culture, (I don’t know what it is called) as a Major in University and Linguistics. But I’m still not sure, but it could be a possibility for me, to learn about the asian cultures throughout the world and help me discover myself.
Yesterday the weather was really great, with the sun shining down and the wind mild. I love that kind of weather where it was too hot but with a bit of wind. I wish I could’ve stayed outside all day, but I’m glad I got to spend a few hours outside.
This week has probably been an okay one at the least? I’m not sure.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what love is, I mean sure you can say love is a certain thing, but what is it truly? Is it something that motivates you to live better each day or something that cannot be undefined like my math teacher says sometimes during class. Maybe the reason why I am thinking like this is beacuse this week has been a question of that. First, in my english class, as we read Romeo and Juliet our teacher asked us if we believed in love at first sight. Then the guy I’ve had a crush on since we were little, told me he and his girlfriend had their 1st monthsary. I’m fine, to be honest, at first, I couldn’t believe what he said, I acted pretty cool, and I was fine, for the most part, but inside I was a bit sad. But it happens, doesn’t it? Then I told my bestfriend about it, how it hurt me a bit, but it didn’t make me cry or hurt me a lot.. She told me that it was a crush and that sometimes when you have a crush, you just expect to like them from afar, and when they pay attention to you it mind blows you that their actually paying attention to you, because all this time you’ve been admiring them, you’ve never thought of what wold happen if they talked to you, and that sometimes it just happens, and when you realize that they like someone else, that is when you notice you didn’t genuinely like that person, and for what you don’t know, either. A crush she says it temporary but like, is a whole different thing, which I agree with her wholeheartedly. I guess love to me is…something rare..something precious that is hard to find, just like a 3 leaf clover is hard to find. And that love can also be easily taken for granted.
A classmate of mine says a guy likes me in my gym class. At first I was like are you sure? He tells me yeah, in the gym class we have together. Part of me wants to know, yet part of me doesn’t want to know. Because it could end up being somebody I am good friends with or someone I don’t know and I don’t like it when it gets awkward with someone, I am friends with or friendly around. But i do want to know…part of me thinks it might be this guy..but he already has a girlfriend and I’m sure he probably doesn’t see me that way. Just good friends..but I don’t mind as long as he’s happy, we don’t talk that much, but I don’t mind. Only a few hi’s and hello’s, how are you, this and that. I’m pretty much that type of person who just likes to be alone, whenever I can and enjoy whatever is going on, observes and all.
One day I want to fall in love, but not right now.
I have a bucketlist. Yes, a list of things I want to do in my life. I really, really do want to do everything on my list, I cannot say how much I really do want to accomplish them. My friend tells me that I am a traveller and yeah I think I am, in some way, I’m always seeking something different each day a new adventure, to begin. I’m just like that, I guess it might have to to do with being exposed to my travelling aunt(s) and family. One of my aunts went to London and we would write to each other, the old way, putting it in the mail and I would wait 6 weeks or a month to get a response from her, but it would be worth it everytime, just to get a letter from her and to see her writing and her adventures. Oh. How I miss getting mail. I wish I had a penpal. Hmmm…I might just get one.
Everyday is a challenge, a new teaching. Everyday a day of starting over and finding things out about who we are, no matter what that day brings us.
To my mom, I know you don’t read my blog, yet not know about it but I want to thank you for being my mom. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. You support me no matter what and give me confidence in myself, no matter what I do, especially when I try out for school talent shows, you say I can do it. I won’t ever forget that moment when I passed for this talent show, and how proud you were of me ad I hope to keep making you proud in whatever I do. I know somtimes I may get annoying your always there for me. Not matter where I end up going, mom, I’ll always be your first born :)
- MeiPosted 1 year ago with 0 notes.